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In Asia, there’s a lot of shame surrounding intimacy that is so damaging and dysfunctional Many Asian girls are programmed to suppress their interest in sex and intimacy, hide it or deny it.If they display or admit at all that they want or even like sex or touch, they risk being seen as a “slut” — in Japan they’re called a “bitch” or in China/HK, a “public toilet.” Their sense of self is at risk, and their reputation is at risk if they show an interest in sex.Disturbing examples of this are girls who spontaneously begin crying after kissing me for the first time, then holding me crying saying “I want kiss but feel shame,” or girls telling stories about their fear of friends talking about them and hurting their reputation.
An example of this would be in Korea — heavy eye contact can be considered rude, and thus giving a girl eye contact may cause anxiety instead of attraction.Between watching online porn, usually involving Japanese school girls, and playing Quake 3 Arena, sometimes I’d post on forums.I’d browse video game forums, digg, 4chan, and many others — one thing I’d hear from time to time is that Fast forward to my first time actually going to Asia, and this “it’s easy for white guys” mantra was even said by the manager (a Japanese man) of the guest house I was going to be living in. He basically said, Two of my friends were tall, good looking and fit guys — like with abs and everything. After each night we’d all hang out in the “common room” at our guest house and talk about our night, and this was really fun because it was like a mastermind group. I was having fun and did meet a lot of awesome girls.Communicating with another person who does not speak your language or speaks it poorly is a challenging task that even guys who are very good with girls will struggle with.Talking slowly, removing words (like determiners), and using non-verbal communication (facial expression, pointing) adds an entire level of challenges.
Any self-aware man who was once really bad with women knows that shaming women for their sexuality is a way to deal with the frustration of not being a part of it.